1) Women love to shop. It is the one area
of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.
2) Women especially love a bargain. The
question of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything
on sale is fair game.
3) Women "never" have anything to wear.
Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand".
4) Women need to cry. And they won't do
it alone unless they know you can hear them.
5) Women will always ask questions that
have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
6) Women love to talk. Silence intimidates
them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.
7) Women need to feel like there are people
worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type
shows are so successful.
8) Women don't need sex as often as men
do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for
women. Just knowing that the man wants to have sex with them fulfills the
emotional need.
9) Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed
ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved.
10) Women can't keep secrets. They eat
away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy,
providing they only tell two or three people.
11) Women always go to public restrooms
in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.
12) Women can't refuse to answer a ringing
phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling.
13) Women never understand why men love
toys. Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an "on/off"
switch.
14) Women think all beer is the same.
15) Women keep three different shampoos
and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the
bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.
16) Women don't understand the appeal of
sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women
seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.
17) If a man goes on a seven-day trip,
he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice;
if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she
doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.
18) Women brush their hair before bed.
19) Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone
and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be in bed.
20) Women are paid less than men, except
for one field: Modeling.
21) Women are never wrong. Apologizing
is the man's responsibility, "It's there in the Bible". Hmmm, who was it
that gave Adam the apple?
22) Women do not know anything about cars.
"Oil-stick, oil doesn't stick?"
23) Women have better restrooms. They get
the nice chairs and red carpet. Men just get a large bowl to share.
24) The average number of items in a typical
woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these
items.
25) Women love cats. Men say they love
cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
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