There is a general feeling in the public
that IISC students are fundu, unassumingly lost in thought almost all the
time. And girls fare no better in this respect. So let us see what a Non
IIScain may face when he marries a girl from our campus.
SCENE: First night of the marriage.
CHARACTERS: IISC Bride and Non IISC Groom.
The Groom approaches the Bride and proposes
to kiss her. So let us see what would be her reaction..
GIRL FROM DEPT OF PHYSICS: 'Well kissing
is relative. You can kiss me with respect to me or with respect to you.
First define how you are going to kiss. You can kiss me by treating me
in the same reference frame as you are or treating me in a different inertial
frame by producing waves of motion through your lips. How do you prefer?'
The guy faints.
GIRL FROM DEPT OF MATHEMATICS: 'Kissing
is fine. You can kiss me provided you satisfy the following conditions.
Necessary conditions: You should be close
to me by a distance delta where delta is greater than zero and the limit
for delta tends to zero and you satisfy the closure property.
Sufficient conditions: You should have
lips, where the number of lips is neither more than two nor less than two.
You can also kiss by defining your hand to be me if and only if you satisfy
the above conditions.'
The guy goes mad.
GIRL FORM ECOLOGICAL SCIENCES: 'Oh Kissing,
that is interesting phenomena that occurs in nature. This is an initiating
process for sex not only found in homo sapiens but also in all heterosapiens,
mammals, camels, vertebrates invertebrates and insects. Out of 1000 ants
observed in a closed laboratory in Zuvinich in Yugoslavia 90% of them seem
to involve in the process of kissing but the subsequence is very random
with probability 0.672139 that a male ant kiss female ant. First observe
the behaviour of ants and cockroaches under various conditions. That will
be very interesting, wouldn't it?'
The guy has an heart attack.
GIRL FROM SERC(Super computer Education
and Research Centre): 'You want to kiss me. That is fine I assume that
you know the algorithm for that very well. But you have to complete the
process within 56.22 seconds or else connection will be timed out. To optimize
the timing lets do parallel processing. As we have to discuss about our
future and other things, let us do the process of discussion foreground
and why can't you put the process of Kissing background?'
The guy applies for divorce.
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Pokemon