Q) How does a man show he's planning for the future? 
A) He buys two cases of beer instead of one. 

Q) How are men like commercials? 
A) You can't believe a word either one of them says and they both last for about 60 seconds. 

Q) Why does it take 1 million sperms to fertilize one egg? 
A) They won't stop to ask directions. 

Q) What do men and sperm have in common? 
A) They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being. 

Q) How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? 
A) Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet. 

Q) Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking? 
A) Because they all already have boyfriends. 

Q) What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? 
A) A widow. 

Q) Why are married women heavier than single women? 
A) Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. 

Q) How do you get a man to do sit-ups? 
A) Put the remote control between his toes. 

Q) What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? 
A) They are married. 

Q) Why can't men get mad cow disease? 
A) Because they're all pigs. 

Q) Why don't men often show their true feelings? 
A) Because they don't have any. 

Q) What did God say after creating Adam? 
A) "I must be able to do better than that." 

Q) What did God say after creating Eve? 
A) "Practice makes perfect." 

Q) Man says to God, "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" 
A) God answers: "So you would love her." 

Q) "But God," the man says, "Why did you make her so dumb?" 
A) God says: "So she would love you."