Last year, many women upgraded their BOYFRIEND
3.1 to BOYFRIEND PLUS 1.0 (marketing name: FIANCE 1.0) and then further
upgraded FIANCE 1.0 to HUSBAND 1.0. They found that 1.0 is a memory hogger
and incompatible to many other programs in their lives. HUSBAND 1.0 includes
plug-ins such as MOTHER-IN-LAW, BROTHER-IN-LAW, and ANNOYING LOSER FRIENDS
although market research has clearly shown that they are unnecessary and
unwanted.
The upcoming BOYFRIEND 4.0 will change
all that. Created by leading experts in the field and based upon years
of research and classroom lectures, it includes the best of the old features,
such as the HANDYMAN FUNCTION, and includes many new functions such as
the OPTIONAL COMMITMENT FEATURE. Other immature functions, such as BEER
GUZZLING and CAT CALLING have been removed, though they can still be found
on FRATBOY 1.1
BOYFRIEND 4.0 will include:
- An AUTOMATIC REMINDER BUTTON AND PAY
ATTENTION FEATURE (so you don't have to repeat yourself)
- MINIMIZE BUTTON
- SHUTDOWN FEATURE
- SHOPPING FUNCTION
- A BACK-UP ENERGY SUPPLY, so it won't
fall asleep after sex
- A LAUNDRY, COOKING, & HOUSECLEANING
FUNCTION
- DIAPER-CHANGING FUNCTION, for the more
advanced users
- A SELF DESTRUCT SEQUENCE, so once it's
uninstalled it won't come back
- A MONOGAMY FEATURE
- AUTOMATIC OVERRIDE that kicks in right
before they're about to say ANYTHING even remotely stupid
####### BUG WARNING #######
All previous versions of BOYFRIEND are
inaccessible on Sunday afternoons and Monday nights during the football
season. We are trying to rectify this but it seems to be a problem inherent
within the programming.
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Pokemon